I have a confession, homeschooling sucked this year. This was not a good school year for us. I had a lot of moments filled with frustration and I was overwhelmed by a combination of things.
This was my first year really homeschooling two kids at different levels (a first and third grade) while having three other little wild kids running around. My days were full of disruptions and exhaustion. Kids are relentlessly getting into everything and the house is a constant mess. I tried getting rid of a bunch of stuff and doing major cleanups but it seemed impossible to maintain. Due to the lack of sleep (completely own fault), I was irritable and probably a little on the depressed side. I can list a ton of excuses: we had bouts of sickness, holidays, too tired, pregnancy, and then my miscarriage. Some of these are valid excuses but I took advantage of the situations and too much time off from doing school then what was really necessary.
Nothing went according to plan in our studies. I completely forgot about a writing curriculum with Bradley that we didn’t even start it. We basically dropped history. Genevieve isn’t even halfway through math and the list can go on and on. I kept thinking “maybe I can start this thing back up” but then fail.
I had this picturesque vision of how our homeschool vision would be and it was completely not the reality.
I was so consumed with disappointment with myself, I felt like I was letting my kids down, and the panic of my kids being extremely behind all because of me was overwhelming. Then I came to the realization that I just needed to let it go and cut my losses for the year. More importantly, I needed to put my trust in God, stop beating myself up, learn from my mistakes, and find the joy in the sufferings.
My biggest mistake was not surrendering myself, my children, and my homeschooling to God sooner. I definitely need to work on my pride. I can also recognize the other big issue was the lack of consistency due to no structure/routine. Working on a more consistent routine is my number one goal for the year.
With all this said, even though I am cutting my losses, I’m still counting my blessings.
Although I can think of a massive list of what went wrong, there was good that came out this year too. I lost sight of the positive because I was too focused on the negative. Here are some of the things that have been going well in our homeschool:
- We all learned a lot of life lessons. Especially when I went through my miscarriage.
- The kids are learning perseverance. When things get tough and they are learning to take a step back and figure how to fix it.
- Bradley did a whole level of math and already has a third of the next level finished.
- Genevieve is doing really well with her reading, despite us not being where I was hoping.
So what now?
The plan from here on out is to do the bare minimum for the next month/ month and a half to get them ready for their end of the year testing and to start the next school year this summer with a fresh start. I’m going to (at least try) to stop worrying about what didn’t get done and what should have happened and just move on. I am currently planning out the next school year and getting my house cleaned up and ready to go.
So here’s to cutting my losses with their current grades, counting my blessings, and moving on to hopefully a better homeschool year.
How is your school year going?
Stacey H says
I can ditto much of what you’ve said here – but you have caught great perspective. There is good in it all and as you surrender it all to God, He will fill in the gaps. No stress about it Momma- you’re doing well!
Thank you for your kind words! I realize I need to just take a breather and trust
Thank you for your honesty, and I’m glad you didn’t quit. I pray for blessings for your family.
Thank you! I’m hopeful
Rhiannon Solorzano says
I do wish I could not relate to so much of this. But, I can and do. I sadly have had a few of these years. This year was an extremely hard one. I am actually thinking about enrolling at least one of my 3 in public school. I don’t want to. But I may need to. I am working too much, but we need the money. And I am so tired I can hardly get the laundry done. I’m praying God will help me to see the plan that he wants for me and all of us. I want to do the right thing. So hard to know where to make changes. Your blog entry was at least comfort in knowing we are not alone. I see many blessings from this year that would not have happened if I sent mine to school. They have learned by watching me how to persevere through extremely trying times. They have learned a lot about planning and realistic expectations. Hahaha But I know we need to school ALL summer to catch up…and that’s a bit overwhelming to me at the moment. I need to figure out how to work less and budget better. I feel we already live fairly frugally. But because I’m so exhausted by dinner time I have (too often) not made the food I bought to make and we opt to eat out. That’s probably the first place I should start with my “cutting back.” It’s just all a very hard and slippery slope. It will take the Holy Spirit to navigate the difficulties. Part of my particular challenge is that I work a split shift and homeschooling has to fit between. I was doing it for a while at the start of the school year, but became repeatedly sick, from a lack of sleep. I was getting up at 3 A.M. to work online and then back to sleep at 6-7:30. Then I worked from 3pm -8pm. Horrible hours. It’s no wonder I have not done enough with my kids for homeschooling this year. But next year will have a similar schedule… not much I can change. Except, I can try to get by on less and thus be able to cut my hours (I’m an independent contractor for online teaching through VIPKID-Love it just hate the hours as they are 15-16 hours ahead of me on the West Coast and I tutor kids after school -talk about guilt trip when you’re helping other kids learn and your own are falling behind).
Sorry for my long comment. I just can relate too well. Prayers for you and me and all of us trying to make homeschooling work! Have you read “Teaching from Rest”? If not, buy it now. It is a must read! Blessings! -Rhiannon
Thank you so much for sharing! I hope that you will find peace in whatever decision you make. It is tough. I was planning on starting the next school year hear soon but we decided to try to sell our house last minute. I will be trying to move and homeschool at the same time. Well, thank you again for sharing, prayers for your family.
Well I’m finishing year 8 and let me tell you some how everyday every thing in the house in ever room and cupboard ends up on the floor. Everyday is like a spring cleaning and it frustrates me beyond belief, but I just have the kids do an after school clean up hoping that one day they’ll figure out the fact that if they pull it out they have to put it away. But no matter what I know we’re blessed. Keep on keepen on dear your doing a great job.
Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m hopeful.
I also had a first and third grader this year with my toddler running around. I can relate so much to everything said here. This was our second year and we are still trying to figure things out. I was frustrated that my first grader is not where should be in reading and my third grader really had a bad year with social studies My amazing husband thankfully opened my eyes and pointed out all the good that came from this year. My first grader is already starting 3rd grade level math and doing amazing. He is also reading so much more and better now than he was in January. My third grader worked completely independent from January until the end of our year givin me the time I needed to help my first grader excel in reading. He also is grades ahead in reading level compared to his peers. I bought the homeschool moms bible and it has already uplifted me so much during our homeschool days.
Thank you for sharing! It is so helpful when our husbands are on board.
This post is great! Thanks for sharing it with us.